woman among women Archives - JAYANTHY'S FREE SPACE

A Woman in the Middle of the Road

Jayanthy Govindarajan — Thu, 05 Dec 2019 03:25:22 +0000

That was a happy night till then,
As I strolled through the road,
About to walk the road to my house,
Winding up the walk with my pet.

Just ahead the lane was my father,
About to enter our gate,
When my pet decided to cross the road,
And I was stranded in the middle of the road.

I turned to see a cab coming fast,
I held my hand in advance for him to stop,
For I couldn’t move either way,
For the dog decided to stay right in the middle of the road.

While the cab driver halted so close to me,
I held up my hand fuming,
Flared up and vented for him to see,
That I held up far enough for him to stop.

What the cabbie did next,
I wouldn’t forget in this lifetime,
He abused me for being a lone girl in the street,
What with a dog in the middle of the road.

His vengeful eyes that knew no apology,
Churned my insides with fear,
As my father ran towards me,
The cabbie turned and asked him who is he to support me.

My father was outraged,
Declared that I was his daughter
he had no rights to mess with,
Even in shock, he felt compelled to break his bone.

That pervert came out of the cab,
To beat up my father,
While a crowd gathered quickly,
And stopped our agony.

My father has seen worst men in his work,
This one was no less a criminal,
Worth getting his tight slap,
But he was held back due to surgery.

Why did I panic?
I still ask myself,
Two nights have crossed,
But my day stopped right there.

It was evident on that face,
When he tried to assault us,
That he was a criminal,
Who didn’t know humanity.

On the other hand,
I am thankful for the people around,
Who came running to help,
When that scumbag came out to beat us.

I’m also thinking about people,
Who asked me what I was wearing that day,
Trying to shame me,
In the name of seeing the point.

In case, you’ve read till here, it happened before two nights at 10pm. By every guess, I am glad I was not pulled into the car and taken away by such scumbags. When I was asked what I was wearing by people I thought were good friends, I didn’t know why I made such friends. I’m not hurt by the incident, actually it was a personal wake up call. I realized I panicked because my gut said something was extremely wrong and all my thoughts went back to my daughter. I cringed at the thought of emotion at the wrong time. To my girls, who understood me and shared their own, I won’t be able to see people the same way again.

To be a warrior, to act Just, one cannot link it back to family all the time. If I want a safe environment for all the children including my little one, I just need to prepare myself better. Standing up against such acts takes a lot of courage. I was a blunt knife before two days, I’m not just in the process of sharpening it, it’s in the know-how that makes it effective.

To all the women, who are still scared like I was, don’t wait till you get a personal wake up call. The reality stings much harder.

From now, I will only bow before Justice.

To hell with the rest!

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What is it like to be a Woman among Women!

Jayanthy Govindarajan — Mon, 21 Jan 2019 11:45:00 +0000

Life offers fantastic opportunities every day. Some seize it, a few others plan to seize it, some think about seizing it and a few others wonder what to do with it. It is true that the choice is in our hands. As women, we strive to find opportunities that help us make the best of both worlds: Personal and Professional. The life of today’s working woman is open to criticism whether we like it or not. Almost everyone has a say on it except the actual person. According to the society, to be a successful lady boss, a woman has to compromise one sphere of her life. Many women go through this and feel burnt halfway. Still, there are so many success stories of women because we somehow find a way to do what we love braving all the odds that exist.

Being a woman among women isn’t easy. To find what persists in today’s market requires deep understanding of the basics. Women who explore what works, how it works and why it works are the ones who face the odds and find a solution for them. When you know some good friends and their struggles to become who they are today, your life takes better shape. There isn’t a day you will fret when it comes to learning the market you are about to explore. When we find what we love, it is all about finding the right balance and learning from the people who are living it every day.

If we don’t find the work-life balance(Work-Life Balance), then all will tumble one day. So, it is important to get the equation right. I read about the Panch Tatva of Indian Life Women and Work-Life Balance by Kavita Thapliyal

WLB = Career + Ambition + Pleasure + Leisure + Family.

Today life has changed so much. Though some women are the breadwinners of their family, there are some who work because they love their jobs. Most women who work, do it because they love what they do. They are smart enough to customize what works for them and are willing to make the process a continuous learning journey. Though you work full-time, part-time, a stay-at-home mom, a solo boss or a woman who takes care of the house, we all need the balance. It is true that the work of a successful woman teaches us so much. I learnt some of mine from a new friend.

Some of you know, I am planning to self-host my website. I am taking baby steps after finding a reliable source. I will share about it here.What are the odds when your web development skills does not help sail the boat? When I wanted to work on my website, I had no idea where to start or who to approach. I was lucky enough to be introduced to Lakshmi Priyanka through Vasantha. Initially, I felt lost at sea about the entire process, but Priya, an inspiration and now a good friend, gave me an idea of what will work and what won’t for my website. She runs DigitalSEO, a reputed Web Designing Company in Tirunelveli and Chennai. She gave a precise blueprint of my website by reviewing it and provided detailed insights. At the moment my website is a work-in-progress and I am excited that it will soon find a new home with a shine you’ve never seen before.

I am glad to have found a passionate woman who loves to design, create and deliver what she trusts will work for websites. She firmly believes in striving hard to maintain a work life balance since that’s what keeps her work and family lively. I am also excited to share about wondrous women who love what they do. This is my journey with Priya and I am looking forward to us working together on my website. I am excited to know about Women who change the way we see the Web.

Who changed your perspective about the Web?

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The Value of Pain

Jayanthy Govindarajan — Fri, 12 Oct 2018 02:34:00 +0000

Pain is different for everyone. When I explain to someone that I am facing an issue with something, I have heard a few people point out saying that isn’t an issue at all. Pain isn’t always caused by the same reasons for everyone. It is different for each and every person. If I haven’t felt pain that another person felt due to a particular experience, it doesn’t mean it is irrelevant.

Image courtesy: Google

Similarly, everyone’s pain has its own value. It brings a change whether we appreciate it or not. For some it makes them brave, to a few others it makes them get in touch with their vulnerability again and to some others it just lets them open up and stay that way. In some way or the other, it lets us see ourselves a little better than what we know us. If we don’t understand someone’s pain, it is better to stay silent than sabotage them for feeling that way. After all, it is pain that breaks us and makes us whole again.

Pain need not necessarily be physical. It could be a word that hurts, an action that makes someone feel miserable or ignoring someone completely you’ve been close with all along. Everyone has their own reasons. Pain felt leads to an understanding that never existed before. That particular understanding will help us know ourselves better and in the process we also learn about others. People who understand us in our most needed times are to be treasured. Generally those kind of people are hardly one or two and most unexpected ones. That’s one reason to appreciate pain.

Last week, I experienced a terrible leg pain. I felt numb throughout. I felt that I might not be able to get up the whole day. I felt I needed rest, the kind of rest that deserves the “Do Not Disturb” tag hanging in front of my door. With an active 16 month old, it is evident that I am getting almost no rest during the day. Though I am glad I am on my toes, I must agree that I need twice the time to rest my nerves and very sincerely my legs. I haven’t found the time until I decided to take the 5 day break from Social Media and everything else. Since I am managing the house for the past month with the husband on travel, things have taken a hectic pace and my health and mind is miserable than ever. I also realized that work doesn’t bother me much as I thought it would, it was definitely only people. I was surprised to find cooking very interesting than ever. Maybe it is one of the best ways to relax my nerves. Though I just did simple recipes, I thoroughly enjoyed what I made and when people ate it, it felt even more amazing. I loved it when Ilakkiya almost cleaned her plate by herself. Apart from cooking daily meals, I also had spent a genuine time reading and writing my journal.

Image Courtesy: Google

I don’t share my feelings with everyone, I choose people and only share with people I consider close to my heart. This month started with me opening up about issues I have been avoiding for long and couldn’t build up the courage to face it. Just to calm my nerves and find the courage to handle them, I opened up to a few of them. I am glad I have listening ears who have taken time out of their busy schedules to hear me out. Until then, I really felt like I let the dementors suck all the happiness out of me and I walked lifeless. It was when I shared and let those tears run down my cheeks again that I felt alive again.

As much as there is someone who is encouraging me to look up and smile at the sunshine, I must agree that I have been able to do the same to a few others too. That’s the best part, right? It’s a lovely kindness chain that we pass on. We get help from someone, we offer help to someone else. I mean life is all about that. If you can help someone get better, do it. Everyone needs help in some way or the other. Someone needs to be listened, whereas some others need to let go and be happy.

Image Courtesy: Google

The let go part is the most difficult though. Personally, I feel it is a choice to be made by the person. If the person chooses to hold on to troubles and trouble everybody else, we are all going down the pit together. Gradually, when people understand that it is cracking them up, they would just move out and find their own peace. So, at any age, it is the courage that is needed to act on our weaknesses. There is no better factor than age to make a choice to become a better person.

I was in a vicious cycle before. I was immensely affected by small talks and forgot how to live life as I want to. The whole of last week, I was in a bad state. I was depressed and also sick which made everything worse. I was glad to share my thoughts with a family member and I feel so much better now. I am not at all ashamed of crying. Tears are the first exit for anyone in pain. They drench us in a coolness that nothing else can. It melts our hearts and prepares us to face life as it is with no sugarcoating whatsoever. I am thankful for being able to feel light again. I am grateful for being able to take that break from social media and avoided sharing too much negativity on it. I am blessed to have few souls who really care for me and helped me go to the healing stage and let go of the hurting stage (stages inspires by Rupi Kaur).

Image Courtesy: Google

I am learning that the value of pain is not in causing the same to others, but to heal ourselves and be liberal in taking the time for the process to happen. It is okay to feel weird about everything. It is okay to be the black sheep in the white herd. It is okay to be different. It is okay to spend time for ourselves through all this. It is okay to sit down and cry when everything is messy. It is okay if your schedule flips out through this. It is for the better and we look at our schedules as a blessing after that. So, the value of pain is how you treat yourself when you go through it. Treat yourself right. It helps heal better!

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