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My Word of the Year 2020

Jayanthy Govindarajan — Sun, 12 Jan 2020 03:07:53 +0000

When I chose Simplify in 2018 it did a lot of good for me. I took it a little ahead and still it helped me find the good in chaos. So, when I planned the word for 2019, I went to the edge and decided on Calm. Though my year was nowhere close to calm, I had to agree, amidst all the chaos (both internal and external), I made peace with what I cannot control and ended the year feeling better. 2019 was more about surviving it in reality than anything else.

During the last week of 2019, when I sat down to decide on a word for 2020, there was just one word that actually came to me. Unlike the first two years where I had to decide from many words, this year was different. During the middle of 2019, I really thought I’d choose Taking Responsibility as my word for 2020. However, by the end of the year, I knew there was something more necessary than that. It is communication. What good would taking responsibility do for me if I did not know how to Communicate.

Gone are the days when I could smile and give a welcome speech. I get the same feeling when it comes to addressing people. There were times I felt I belong to the hospitality team. It was easy to smile and address everyone I met. Now, it all feels like another world to me. Since it’s an important skill and an effective one at that I thought I will handle it this time. I have a small verse for my vision this year.

Sometimes when I talk,
I wonder if it’s really me,
Often Intense and angry,
Cruising on rage.

At times I think, I live in a vicious world. At most times, I believe it’s my thoughts and feelings that believe everyone and everything and then go a full round. Anyway, anger isn’t one of the traits that’ll help unless it’s the right kind of anger. So I’ve decided to work on it through a communication method I recently learned.

It’s easier to attack,
Easiest to be the victim,
But it takes courage to wait,
To heal and to give back.

I’m sure you’ve heard about the 5 Chairs Method by Louise Evans. After I decided my word, I began my first lesson, to know just one method that I can understand and follow. To hold myself accountable for everything I say. When I say something, I want to define the emotion, it could be anger, fear, being judgemental, shame, guilt, love or kindness. You’ll appreciate this method. It’s been two weeks and I’m tracking which chair I sit on everyday.

Isn’t self-love and self-care a part of my life, this year? Finally, what’s there to my life without ME?

When I hold you close,
And swirl you around,
I’m one with myself,
You are the gift I hold dear.

As much as I love to write about my dear husband and myself endearingly, this verse is about another love. Since my sister belongs to the family of Martial Arts, I was lucky enough to visit their institute often. I’ve often admired people swirling the Silambam stick. I would watch it with great wonder. Imagine what it would be like to figure out that I could actually swirl it on my own. I’m learning how to and I’ve never been happier. Fingers crossed, it still flies around sometimes, but I know I’d swirl it better than today within a year. I listened to an instructor saying that practicing swirling the stick everyday doesn’t just make us better at it, but it acts as a protective shield and keeps negativity at bay.

As I walk,
Amidst those pages,
I learn what I don’t know,
I realize the power of Imagination.

Many associate reading to being lonely. I tell them I feel better when I am alone then. Isn’t it true? It could look like a loner activity, but what some don’t realize is, it opens to a world of people I would love to live with. Through reading, I have learned to appreciate people in my life in a better way which helps me learn to question them in a reasonable way nowadays.

I have a small pact for books this year and I will write about it soon.

When I sit down for long
It’s just to converse with you
What will I do without you
You keep me lucid.

Again, as much as this fits our relationship, this one is for my dearest blog and my morning pages diary. Writing keeps me sane, it is one of the best things I’d like to associate myself with always. You’d find me sitting down, typing madly on my phone. It’s mostly the only reason I wake up early? You’d find me writing a storm in a notebook, like I am answering questions from a question paper with a timer ON. Anyway, we all do these, don’t we?

The time has come
For us to stay together
It’s no more just a dream
That we wake up to everyday.

This is the one for my relationship. Gone are the days where we put our needs on the back burner and gave our best for everyone. Nothing will change, we will still put our best foot forward, we will just put it together. Otherwise, the two precious verses (above) still holds good for our relationship.

My precious gift
You brought back
My lost courage,
And the smile I longed to see.

When it comes to describing my daughter, I cannot do it without a smile. At 2.6 years, she is a teacher to me in many ways. She loves to practice Kung Fu with her chithi(aunt) as much as she loves to help Ammama (grandmother)with her cooking. She holds the Silambam like an expert and she says she practices fast running just like her brother taught her. Did I tell you she already wants to take Joy, our let mongrel for a walk.

She is off to play school now and though I love to finish home chores before we pick her up, we surely miss her so much. A small person away at school for two hours felt like an army went to sleep. Such a lovely atmosphere it is when we have little ones around.

She talks like a bird sings. Though she showers me with unconditional love, my love often comes with conditions as a mother. Otherwise, my daughter is my world. She has brought warmth and sunshine back and it’s all shining bright. Her hugs and kisses make my day.

As I fold my hands and stare at her,
She knows it’s business,
If she doesn’t pick it up now,
My hand will speak.

Parenting is a different category. Love hugs, cuddles and kisses are there, but when it comes to business, I mean it. I’m not going to argue about beating or not beating a child here. To each her own. Have you heard of the saying,

Give a child his will and give a whelp his fill and neither will thrive.

Parenting is a tough job. There were occasions where she had to deal with my anger. However, I feel wrong about those, because most important of all is having a good environment for a child to grow. When grandparents or parents are setting wrong examples, even in basic habits, it’s not the child who is supposed to be punished.

Now, instead of lifting my hands to harm her, I’ve started to tickle her and put some sense into her to get her things done. Go back and read my verse again.?

I’d like to handle mine well this year. I might have done a few things wrong, but it’s realizing it and changing it for the better that helps.

This is my 2020 plan for Communicate. More about my experience and experiments in the coming posts.

What’s your word and what’s your plan? I’d love to know.

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My Kindle Story

Jayanthy Govindarajan — Thu, 18 Jan 2018 16:05:00 +0000

If you had noticed, I haven’t included my reading goals or anything related to reading in my previous post. It was intentional because in 2017 the only book I managed to complete was “What to expect when you’re expecting”. My pregnancy was a risk-free one. I never had restrictions and it was easy to satiate my cravings without even gaining a lot of weight. I was busy eating and since I had severe mood swings (not because of the food, okay), I did not read any book.

The only other book I started after delivery was “The Fountainhead” by Ayn Rand. I hardly found time to read it. I managed to squeeze in little time for this book because even a single page I read from the book made me feel it was worthy of my time. I am still reading it.

Finally, with my first love. Slowly getting back to reading. This is the book I had postponed for years. I feel I am now ready for it!! Bought this @ #InfyBangalore Looking back to that day now. #Thefountainhead #lovereading #booklover #finallymakingtime #aynrand #centennialedition

A post shared by Jayanthy G (@jayanthygovindarajan) on Sep 2, 2017 at 10:14am PDT

With such a great reading record in the last two years, I wondered if there is going to be anything different this year. I managed to convince myself that I will continue reading posts from bloggers I regularly follow. It is a good idea, right? I must simplify with what I am able to do, no?

2017 December was a joyous month in a way. My husband’s friend was coming back from the UK. They have this common tradition in their group. If there are good deals, they buy stuff for their friends. My husband already knew how much I debated about buying a Kindle. He was sure that I would debate for a few more months before buying it. So, he asked his friend to bring one for me. Okay, I was really bothered if I would enjoy reading from it. A very common doubt that arises in all book readers who think about buying it.

January arrived. My husband was more excited than me. I guess he finally realized he found a way to keep my mouth shut. ? I was eager, excited and also nervous. I was lucky to get inputs from friends who suggested I invest in a Kindle Paperwhite. Thanks to Soumya and Aparna who said “Go for it without thinking one more time. You will not regret.” I did just that.

One fine day, my husband came earlier than usual. He gave me the box and asked me to open it. He was excited to open the package just as I was. Only that, I did not feel like opening it. It was a compact package that I was happy just seeing it. I wasn’t even planning on opening it then. I just looked at it in amazement. I wasn’t expecting it to be like a typical notebook. Didn’t I tell you, once I ordered, I didn’t even look at its specifications to reconfirm myself. I held the lightweight package and looked at it front to back, back to front. He asked me to Please do the honors!

I tore the seal and opened the box. He was continuously sharing his commentary. I figured he is excited too though he is totally into bike books and automobiles and that has nothing to do with my reading. Finally, I unpacked it and saw this beauty. All my doubts vanished. He did the physical examination for me and worried it was lighter than my phone and I must order a cover immediately.

We browsed it together for sometime and shared all that we had in mind about it.

Q1: Can we read other language books in this?
A1: Oh yes! I am waiting to read Ponniyin Selvan.

Q2: Do you think it will not hurt your eyes during the night?
A2: I am hoping so. I will read tonight and let you know tomorrow.

A2 (continued): Did you even guess I read from it? It did not hurt my eyes and I am totally in love with this.

Q3: How many books can you download? Does it have internet connectivity?
A3: The capacity is 4 GB. Most big PDF’s come in MB’s only. So I guess around 50 to 100 would be good. Yes. We can download books from Amazon store through WiFi.

Q4: How about charging it?
A5: It is given it will stand for weeks with a half an hour reading time everyday with lighting at 10. Let us give it a try.

For the past one week, I have read around 4 books and the charge is just half way down. I am glad that I don’t have to charge it everyday.

Q5: Do you borrow books or buy books from Amazon?
A5: According to the Kindle Unlimited, we can borrow 10 books per month. I am not sure if all books are available or is it applicable only on selected books. For the first month it is free and I am allowed to download only selected books. There are schemes and can select accordingly. We can even buy e-books and there are deals too.

Q6: It is black and white. What about Color photos? Can it be viewed in ours?
A6: Nope. Not in ours. I have seen it in a fellow blogger friend’s (Shilpa‘s) Instagram photos. It is called Kindle Fire.

Q7: I really hope you have it for a long time!
A7: Haha! Trust me on this! I will treasure this! *hearts*

I did not write any Instagram posts or blog posts too for a whole week. I was completely engrossed in reading. It was like breathing fresh air again. Slowly, those tight muscles are relaxing itself. I have not completed any of my reading challenges until now. So, this year, I set my goal at 30 books. Most random reads for the love of reading and some good reads to make it all worth it. I am sure it will be a mixed bag of reading this year.

At times when I wake up early or sleep late, I spend my time on Kindle instead of my phone. It has been a week since I had a conversation with friends. I just responded to the texts I got. I am glad that my phone time has significantly reduced because of my new companion. I talk now instead of the lengthy text chats. I like it. To the point and easy.

As part of the process of simplify, I feel my days are spent better at reading. Surprisingly, I haven’t worried much about missing updates from Instagram. I know I will visit and respond to my friends when I view it. The best part is my mouth is zipped and it has helped me reduce many unnecessary conversations. Thanks Kindle.

Image source: Google

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What’s Your Word for 2018?

Jayanthy Govindarajan — Wed, 10 Jan 2018 04:02:00 +0000

Landed in 2018.

I am still surprised how this year started. I slept earlier than usual on the New Year’s Eve. Usually I stay up until midnight or much late into the night, wish everyone, visit the Ganesha temple near home and then sleep. I would wake up around 9 or 10 in the morning. However, this year, I was tired by 10.30 pm. I had traveled from Mom’s place to my MIL’s to celebrate here with all. I bid good night by 10 pm and before I knew it we were fast asleep.

You wondering what’s the word here?
That was how my New Year started. Early to bed, good sleep and a happy morning.
But, let’s see what my word is. Read ok.

I liked the idea of working with a word a whole year after reading a few bloggers. My New Year resolutions have never crossed the mid of January until now. I have even debated about Why Bother About New Year Resolutions when we can live life as it happens each day. Sometimes, many times, I have had days where I did not know what to do, but sit and browse all videos and related videos whole day. You know that never solved my dull days, it just made it more comfortable for me to sulk. When we don’t know what to do, imagine what I will watch? Friends, back to back and any series to keep me forget everything. I figured out I do that too much all of a sudden and wondered will I ever accept my fears and change.

That’s when the idea of a Word for a whole year looked convincing. My 365 days would be focused on one single word. I am not a consistent person and I am glad to accept it in my recent posts. I get bored very quickly. I understood that’s why my resolutions failed. I had to repeat the same thing all over and I never managed to entertain myself in the process. After reading posts, I sat down and thought about my word. There were few good and comforting words that popped immediately. I loved the comfort it gave me, but I wasn’t looking for just comfort, but change. So, I took a little more time to decide my word. And it’s here.

My Word Of The Year is SIMPLIFY.

Word Of The Year – 2018

WHY THIS WORD?

My room is my motivation for change. My husband and I live in a 10 x 10 room. We live with my in-laws. They had agreed to shift into this room and give us the master bedroom. We denied. We felt this room was cozy and cute for us. We had a nice time watching movies and chilling in our room. We had an issue with the bed in our room. I wasn’t convinced about the bed and suggested it be removed. I was pregnant and I was told, I will need the bed very much. I wasn’t convinced that time either, but left it at that. Now, with the baby, I feel my room is the smallest and over-crowded. It lead to some arguments which brought no change. I started feeling uncomfortable and suffocating and was worried if the baby will also start feeling the same, if this continues.

My feelings were chaotic and so was my room. When Hubby came from office, he was annoyed at how the room looked. Simply put, it was a mess. Even I never felt I wanted to sleep there, I didn’t take the baby inside. He is a OCD guy and that looked like hell on earth. ?? I politely suggested we remove the bed. He agreed. When we removed it, he couldn’t believe the space we got. We planned on a keeping it simple, but it never happened. This was the ideal time. I am glad about the change. Agreeing to chaos brings change.

When I decided this as my WOTY, I was happy and I could see how aligned it is to my life. Bringing back the coziness of the room with some rearrangements which we love is one of the basic things for a daily living. I have given away most of the things from my room and I have a shelf in my cupboard empty.

WHAT’S IN THIS WORD FOR ME THIS YEAR?

MY THOUGHTS:

When it comes to my thoughts, I definitely think too much. I don’t like too much emotional baggage. I cry when I feel like it and complaint when I feel like it too. That’s one of the reasons I never took my complaining seriously. I felt it had value when I did, but over the years, it has become a habit. I knew it had to end somewhere. I argue when I am supposed to be silent and let it go. I couldn’t really figure out the difference between talking and arguing. I need to SILENCE THE MIND.

DE-CLUTTERING

I don’t buy a lot. Then you think why I think of it. I will tell you my problem. I am gifted/given many things that I don’t need. Out of sheer respect, I keep them. That’s the main reason for my shelves getting cluttered quick. I have almost 10 new purses and I hardly use three of it. Tell me what I must do with the rest? I am still thinking and I guess I will post about these too in the upcoming posts. GIVEAWAY is the best idea. To people who really need one of them. It isn’t just about a purse. It is about getting back to basics.

ITS ALL IN THE MIND

My days start as early as 8 or 9 in the morning. Okay, don’t quit reading, early birds. I know what you are thinking! I realized 1/4th of my day is already gone and I couldn’t really accomplish what I want to do in a day. Everything was delayed. Slowly, but steadily, I will join THE 6 AM CLUB this year. I love what I can accomplish when I wake up early. I feel it is also the best time to write down my posts.

MY BODY DEFINES MY WELL-BEING:

Now that I wake early, the silence of the house is appealing. My little one has her dad lying down like a rock next to her and that helps me put on my earphones and listen to some RELAXING MUSIC while I do MY BREATHING AND STRETCHING to prepare myself for the day ahead. I feel so much better with these basic routine for a start.

MAKE TIME FOR ART

There are a few things I love to do, Doodling and Cooking. I hardly make time for them, I have changed my social media schedule because this year, I am all in the “DOING“. I love the time I spend on Instagram, but I am planning scheduling time for it too.

CLEAN 365

I have this project for my home and self improvement. I clear out one thing a day and 365 things go out of my house this year. Updates will come by in posts.

LISTEN and SILENT

The two keywords that will make me a better person this year. I know there are many voices in my head. I am also used to certain conversations and people in my life even before they talk, I know what they are going to talk about again. I choose to LISTEN to new ideas and remain TRAIN MY MIND to say NO when needed. I am working on politely denying being the dump bin to a few who carry too much emotional baggage.

I would love to know yours!

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