Love for Coffee: My Morning Cuppa

I found my love for coffee only in my early 30s. I have always loved the aroma of filter coffee, even the instant one, but my love for it never went beyond the first sip. Until my 30’s, I’ve stuck to saying that I don’t drink coffee, but have never said that I don’t like it. I don’t take the liberty of wasting a cuppa outside. Also, at home, the first sip is the best and there’s nothing more to a coffee than that.

The first sip is the hottest and the most aromatic it can be. According to me, the full flavour is felt and that one sip satisfies me not wanting for more. Filter coffees are given in the smallest cup, but I’d prefer it even smaller than that. Just that one sip, that’s all. I could not say I have not had a full cup, I’ve had it a couple of times in the past because they said that it will keep me awake. Alas, even a cup of coffee couldn’t do that.

I also drink a cup of milk in one go than stop and sip. For me, that warmth needs to stay in a hot drink. That’s not possible so I don’t do that with coffee. One cuppa warm milk, all in one go before I rush out of the house to catch my office bus is an easier choice. Coffee has never been my go to for long. I love to just watch my mum drink her morning coffee in peace, but I’ve never allowed her that peace. I constantly tried to talk her out of drinking coffee that she’d say please if you can go and do something that you want to do rather than bother me while I drink.

That first cuppa

My husband had his first cup of black coffee as part of his Ketogenic diet in 2019. He introduced me to that first cuppa. I was hesitant to try it, coffee with milk doesn’t interest me, why would plain coffee be any different. I let him know that I’ll try it later.

When I made up my mind to try it, I was mesmerised by a full mug of coffee. I remember it so vividly because that was my first mug of black coffee. It was raw, fresh and warm right from the first sip and as it went down my throat. That urge to take another sip was there. Took another sip and it really felt like a warm hug. When I finished that full mug, it felt like someone had hugged me for a long time. That feeling of warmth felt comforting.

At that point in time, maybe I was too exhausted with lots of things in my life. Maybe I’d even thought too much that makes me wonder as I write this: why did that cuppa feel like a warm hug? Self hug, maybe? I don’t know. It just felt so good. I never felt the urge to make myself a cup of black coffee in Chennai. When you have a dad who makes tea and also puts a plate of some crunchy and mouth-watering Indian snacks, why would I not taste the chai. Tea is a story for another day. However, it’s different if I’m here. My morning starts with a slightly hot cuppa black coffee.

Put that Kettle On

Sometimes the hot mug gets gulped during calls, or stretches for a longer time over calls. There’s been times when I’ve prepared it, but forgotten to pick it up amidst morning chaos of sending the kid to school and waving bye to the husband as he leaves to work. There are also times I’ve wanted a hot n strong cup but would have let the kettle go off much before boiling temperature, and wonder why did I even do that after I’ve poured the water into the cup. During other times, I’ve let the kettle boil, but have forgotten to even make that Coffee.

I stick to one cuppa everyday. Sometimes I’m so conscious not to get addicted to it, that I stop drinking it for a while. I pick it up only after I’m okay to start it all over again. Black coffee with eggs have been an easy n tasty breakfast for me most times. So are muffins n black coffee. There was a time when I baked goodies every week just to make sure I had them with my coffee. At times, when I have the time to have breakfast with my daughter before she leaves to school, these two options have always been filling and comforting.

On most days, I wake up early, just to sit down and enjoy a hot mug all by myself. It’s fresh, refreshing and silent. That’s how a peaceful day starts, at-least until my husband and daughter wake up. I don’t scroll my phone or read a book. I just sit down, listen to the morning sounds outside and within myself. That’s when a thousand things will come to my mind, literally asking me to get up and get stuff sorted. Earlier, I gave in, but now, I just let it float.

Just the Right Start

After all, those chores will wait for me to come, but this peaceful time with my morning cup will come only once every morning. Also, only if choose to wake up while the house is still asleep. I choose to sit down those few minutes, do nothing, but still feel complete. Every time I do that, I only wished that I gave my mum that morning time when she most needed it. I now feel what’s that peace that she wanted every morning.

Maybe every time I saw her float in her own world when she sat down with that cup, I had felt maybe someday I would feel that too. I was insanely insecure in my early young days and thought that my mum did not like being with us when she tells me off especially during her coffee. Now, I could only laugh at that thought. How insane! What had spending time for herself do with loving us? God, I was crazy!

Dedicating this post especially for my mum, because every time I enjoy those moments, I realize more that she needed to care for her inner soul before she managed to shower that love all the time on us. Hugs, Amma. You always deserve a break whenever you want.