Sunday Sulk

Am I worried?
Am I confused?
Do I want to spend time alone?
Do I want to take a shower and go for a walk?

Thoughts clouding my mind,
I’ve got a problem to resolve!
Many people are involved and convincing all to see the point might take forever!
But I still want to try!

I was a coward before, 
I chose to hide,
I chose to shut,
I chose to bottle up,
I chose to remain guilty for no reason,
I chose to blame my past actions,
I chose to call myself names.
But now i understand and am not ashamed but in the process of moving forward and choosing to live!

I was scared of everything before and still many things scare me but I choose to act now rather than sit and watch!
I cried, I hid, I shouted and I laughed but nothing seems to solve it for me!
I choose to wait and watch!
I choose to stand back and see,what really the world wants from me! And what is that I really want to give to the world!

I have realized shouting doesn’t work,
I have realized blaming doesn’t work,
I have realized hiding doesn’t work,
I have chosen to pay attention to know and realize what works!

I have a life ahead, I can’t let any negativity stop me!
I am afraid that if I don’t accomplish my goals I’ll become a complaining person or a parent who would want her kids to accomplish her goals!
I choose not to force or demand,
But to do what I want to really do!

I chose to live my dreams even if I am the only one who has belief in it now!

P.S: A sulky mood I wonder! It’s out and I have to move again! 

About Jayanthy Govindarajan

I share the reflections of my mind here as a mommy blogger. I share my parenting experiences and life experiences with gratitude.

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