Warning – Long Post ahead!

The start of 2012 marks great events in the family. Well I’ve included this as an important thing for me! Till date I haven’t set resolutions because

1.      I do not want to torment myself for the whole year if I don’t follow it – precisely cant end up feeling like a loser.
2.      The more resolutions I make/take the easier I forget them.
3.      A resolution as I’ve heard from others is difficult to keep up as it takes self-reminders many times and not a teeny bit of procrastination.
4.      I’m not going to add resolutions like not-talking to this list as things have changed a bit over the couple of years. So looks like I’m already on it.
5.      And my 1km smile as I am nick-named by my school friends doesn’t really appear that frequently lately. So, am not sure if bringing that back is on the list.

But this time I am ready for the trial-and-error to happen so that I’ll have something worthwhile to do for the whole year and also write about it by the end of 2012! :p Truly this post is a reason for the, ‘what did I do the whole of 2011?’ post. I am still thinking hard to jot down things that I did in 2011. Well, that’s definitely going to be a tough one (I have another post to talk about the past) nevertheless the excitement on planning my resolutions is keeping my mind occupied now.

The whole point of writing it – that’s to keep a check on what I’m doing. I visit my blog more often than I visit my, well other things! With new additions of so many things this year I think I need the whole of 2012 to sort them according to priority in-order to keep up with all the nice things happening around me.
The concept of losing ‘The Charm’– Well, did it exist? :p

Of late nothing seems to interest me. I can write loads of I wasn’t like this before a couple years blah… blah stuff. But I don’t want to start with that because I was doing all over well, 2010 and 2011. Being misunderstood is one thing that is such a pain in the …. Well, but to act like everything is at its best is no good either. But to take into account what my current mindset is about all the things happening around me that should make/give some sense.
People Person – Was I?Will I ever remain that?

I’ve been thinking about this for a reasonable time. Now really it’s the time to reason it out. I’ve loved people (damn! I am already writing it like it is over!). This could be because I’ve never had to do so much thinking before I started talking to them, any, for that instance. Unraveling mysterious people usually takes some-time and I loved it because I had met very few people of that genus. Most of the people I know were effusive, so it was always easy to handle such people because I was one among them and not really belonged to the over-sensitive crowd. Things changed over time though. Most of the people I met were so much of the talk-less kind and that they gave me a chance to rant and took the position of listening, which to an extent made me uncomfortable not only was it that way, the worst is this – I started taking responsibility for their mistakes. The great person that I am! :p It’s all so clear now. OMG, I was in outright turmoil for so many months that I did not give myself a chance to explore my problems even 10% chances that I gave for the other people who dint really give a damn about me. People giving me ‘Oh-so-you-did-it’ look and staring pointlessly – what the hell was I even thinking during all those times? OMG, I hurt so and so, I should clear it. Damn, how easily the other was ready to blame me and walk out of it like nothing really happened! To see all this with eyes wide open I can see me there wandering pointlessly with a different picture going on in my head!

I am going to shut that over-time voice inside my head which is constantly annoying me and getting the worse of me pretty easily. I’ll punch you right on the face if u dare show yourself again!   

Let go of people– Sometimes this is needed.

Whenever a person who has hurt me in the past or a person who I’ve longed to talk with appears, I so damn rewind everything and am playing all the tracks of what happened. Can be called common, that’s what mature people (respect) call it but trying to still hold to that people without their interest is definitely going to hurt me more. In this period where people come to you only when some work has to be done and nothing else but you have a pretty good liking for that person who do you think has the problem here? See people with what they do only for that day. But still I do not prefer to be with people who don’t show respect to other people’s feelings and will continue to do so. Reason – gradually you will become a senseless person who is ready to say things for the sake of it. Withdraw from them if you don’t encourage such behavior. People who want you in their life will definitely make efforts to keep you in their life.
Do what you like – Anytime, Every-time! Don’t expect applause and recognition immediately.

To achieve what you want you have to be consistent in it for it to happen you should not be pressurized. Expectations tend to grow every-time. To cope up with achieving it, we have to do all our tasks with the same outlook (ready to receive credits and criticisms) we started out the first time. With added experience discover the elements that can please the audience for standing by you during all times. Start expecting and you’ll be mentally disturbed and will not have the fun in completing the task.

Reading this after a few months maybe even after a few days may make me think I was in suspended mode for I don’t know how long.  

Supposedly you were looking for Resolutions – well, got a week’s time and I am yet to decide the one’s I’m considering taking.

About Jayanthy Govindarajan

I share the reflections of my mind here as a mommy blogger. I share my parenting experiences and life experiences with gratitude.

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