What do you do

Post for Carry on Tuesday Blog!

When you cry to god to give you the courage to let go of the person you love the most,
When you send him a text denoting the same, ‘Goodbye’,
When he calls to check if you are OK and you have only three words to tell him,
‘I miss you’ but you tell him ‘I am OK’,
When he asks again, ‘Are you really OK?’ and you just put the reciever down because you realize tears are flowing down your cheek and all you ever want is his shoulder to cry,
When you hear his voice again asking,’Hello, Are you there?’,
And you manage to say,’Hey looks like some problem with the phone’,
When he says, ‘Is it really a problem with the phone?’,
When you manage to take a deep breath and say, ‘Of course Yes!’
Before he asks another question I answer, ‘Dont mind I will call you later,got some work’,
When he says,’Sure, Take care, Call me when you are free’,
When you just say a Bye and cut the call.
When you say to yourself, complete your work that’s what you are here for,
When you make plans to divert yourself so that you wont think of him,
When you really want to go to the temple but realize that it will be late when you reach home,

When you get into the bus and before you could think about anything you doze away because you were tired crying all afternoon,
When you are woken up by him and being asked,’How are you now?’,
When all you could ever say was,’You disturbed my sleep’ but actually you are happy that he finally called you in spite of not saying anything in the afternoon,
He: ‘I am sorry, continue’,
Me:’Is this what you called for?’,
He:’I am bored and you are busy, so planning to watch a movie’,
Me:’Go to beach and sit or go to a temple’ and you never knew why you said the second option, when you really want to go to the temple now but you dont tell him that,
He:’Are you coming?’,
Me:’I dont think so, its already late’,
He:’I will drop you’,
Me:I never said I am coming with you!’,
He:’Fine, let me know when you reach’,
Me:’Ok,get ready,will be there in an hour’
When you realize that you are smiling as you cut the call,
When you sit back and start reading a book to not think about what happened just now,
When time and book has helped your mind and heart to relax,
When you manage to take an auto to the temple,
When you reach and call him to ask where he is and your eyes wander to find him nearby before he could see you,
When you hear his voice and you turn to find him and the eyes meet,
When you want that moment to extend, but you turn back to focus on the tasks in hand,
When you simply say a formal Hi,
When he looks at you and you know he is thinking too much only,
When you know there are walls purposely built around each other just to see who breaks the other’s first,
When you go in together and you know this is the place we really want to be in,
When you think he is going to spend close to an hour with you finally and look at him and he says, looks like its crowded and you will stand in the queue, so I will leave now, came to see you only,
When you really want to tell,’Stand with me’, but you say,’OK, Bye’,
When he waves back and smiles and walks away from you,
When it has still not hit you that he has left,
When you finally muster up the courage and ask, ‘Have you started?’,
When you hear,’No,what’s it?’,
When you finally say,’Come back, it wont take more than half an hour’ and you wait for him to say Ok,
When he asks,’Are you ok?’ and you say,’Just come’ and he says,’OK’,
When you are still in the long queue knowing he wont stand next to you but that doesnt look big coz he is around and that’s enough,
When you look up expecting him not to be there but see that he is smiling and walking towards you and you’re smiling back with your eyes twinkling, settling both only to find the walls being broken by that lively smile,
When its almost your turn to place the garlands and you see a teardrop running down your cheeks telling god, this is what I asked for and I am not at all guilty, Read through me, you know what I want,
When you walk back to get the prasad and ask him, ‘Dint you take prasad so long?’,
When he tells you,’I was waiting for you’,
When both walk with the prasad and finally start talking like nothing ever happened,
When both talk and laugh like always,
When both sit together in the temple for sometime and continue talking,
When both walk out and know its time to leave but have that longing to hang on for some more time,
When he again asked, ‘You want me to drop you?’,
When you say,’No, I’ll start now, it will be fine’,
When he says,’I will walk with you till the bus stand’,
When you say,’Are you mad? Go home, I can take care’ but you really want him to walk with you and all he ever sees for an answer are your eyes and not those words and he comes along,
When we are about to cross the road he’s constantly making you laugh,but you manage a smirk and say,’Very funny’,
When you are in the bus stand really expecting the bus to be there and there is every bus that you dont need,
And you manage to sit on the bench in the bus stand and talk again,
And everytime a bus comes now voice in the mind started saying,’Let it not be mine’,
And yes it continued for some more time only to realize that there were not many people around too,
And I managed to say, i’ll take an auto,
He said, Ok do what you like,
I said, Ok, I will think you as my driver, drop me home!
The look on his face said it all! 🙂

The pain of parting is nothing to the joy of
meeting again


About Jayanthy Govindarajan

I share the reflections of my mind here as a mommy blogger. I share my parenting experiences and life experiences with gratitude.

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