I had initially thought of writing monthly letters to you, but I couldn’t do it after your birthday. I was troubled with many things, most related to you. I feel so much better now and we are having a good time. So, I really thought you should know what happened and what has changed between us within these months.

In a post here, I mentioned about your weight gain issues. You are a bit off the mark from your birth weight. What this means is, you were 3 when you were born, so per the standard charts you are supposed to triple your weight on your first birthday. Actually you didn’t and I didn’t know why. I was bombarded with a thousand questions on why you hadn’t gained any. Personally, I had not much idea on where I went wrong. I sat and saw your photos over time and you looked hale and healthy just as you do now. I really had no idea where things went wrong. It took me time to realize why you hadn’t gained weight for close to 3 months straight.

A couple of mistakes had lead to your stagnant weight. I moved to Appa’s place when you were 5 months old. For the first two months, I was able to nurse you every two hours. However, as time went, I was asked to focus on the chores and cut down slowly on the feeding schedules since you had started solids. I thought that is how it worked and I hardly fed you thrice a day. Neither was I ready to give you cow’s milk which was strictly prohibited till age 1. So, now I realize that I had not compensated on your regular milk with other options and I was supposed to continue the feeds until 1. I am sorry to have missed out on a crucial time, but I am glad your Ammama was the first to notice and ask me about it. She literally fought with me and ensured I feed first and then focus on everything else. I fought back with her, but now I am glad she noticed and she was the only one to come and help. Others didn’t know much. It is feeding that brings the best in a child!

Secondly, there was one instance where a mild dosage of honey was given to you in the name of medicine. I came to know this late, but was immensely pissed off when I knew it. Honey is generally given in drops to a child before 1 because it could cause botulism. Half a teaspoon in the name of medicine causes more harm than good. I cried when I first heard it, but I couldn’t do anything about it because I came to know it late. I only explained to the concerned person on why honey is dangerous for kids before 1. From then on I personally prepared medicine for you and also learnt to bathe you to prevent any miscommunication and interventions. Also, I was asked not to give you Ragi because it would cause cold. I had to fight this off and started giving you the porridge.

As a mother, I am not questioned just by family and friends about your growth, but by most unknowns because I have a tiny child. Trust me, it is tough being a mother. I also had to go through some critical comments from so many people I personally thought were friends. I am glad I learnt about many through our tough time. People really thought I hardly fed you. I was almost put under the radar by some. After facing the drum, I made up my mind not to give heed to any comments and also not to ask anyone for suggestions anymore. I sat and researched on healthy foods for kids. I asked my mother and grandmother to help me with recipes. I pretended I knew what I was doing, even though it was a trial and error method for me. I brought ingredients and my mother in law offered to help. Finally, your porridge got ready and I made a few changes to your routine. Slowly, you started gaining weight. Throughout the struggle, your Appa was very understanding and patient with others for throwing their mind our way.

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Earlier I used to be bothered about your weight, I even used to yell at you to eat. You wouldn’t. You would just move around. It took me some time to understand that a child’s cognitive development is the most important factor over weight. Appa and I used to sit down and talk about this. He wasn’t a tad worried about your weight. He always asks me to let you be and ignore everyone’s comments. I felt even my mother was very critical about you and I gave her a piece of my mind. After which, she realized how it has to be said and that you were alright. Just like us you prefer to eat fruits over juice. That was the first sign of a healthy baby to him. We never gave much fruit juices to you. People would try and pull you to follow the norm, but sometimes you need to go with your own flow to accomplish what you set out for.

Babies gain weight. Sometimes it is a slow process. That is acceptable. I have stopped yelling at you. I am not making a fuss over your food anymore. I give you everything that is prepared at home for us. I am not trying hard to push it on to you. If you wave your hand to a No or shake your head sideways, I am okay to accept it as enough and not stuff more on to you. I have realized where to stop. This has helped you enjoy most foods now. Biriyani is your current favorite. You try to eat what you can. I am okay with breaking the meal time and meals. This helps me keep my calm and let you eat what you want. A hearty meal could be a spoonful or a plate full. I am okay with both now. You are still way off the chart, but I am okay with it. You are gaining and the doctors don’t see any problems with the slow weight gain either. They always ignored my weight queries. They just ask me if you are alert, active and happy. I say, “Yes Doc, she turns the house upside down!”

Love,
Amma

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To all new moms,

Don’t worry about infants being way off the chart. None of our parents or grandparents weighed us everyday and worried. Neither did they bother about every doctor visit like today. They provided good food and a happy environment. The rest followed. They were okay with the children being the children. That’s all we must bother about. Junk will help gain easy weight, but that isn’t going to help us in anyway. A little of everything is all they need. So let’s keep them happy and healthy!

People could make you feel terrible by sharing their children’s weight or grandchildren’s weight. That is okay. Just tell them every child is different and their growth spurts matter. If people don’t bother to listen and focus on the weight, well, that’s all they know folks! Leave it at that. Don’t waste a calorie more to explain. You need it to run behind your child! Let’s just be thankful that we have abundance to give our child. Let us remember the nations were parents are starving and their children are dying. This is enough to forget our doubts and be thankful.

Love,

A Mom!

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My monthly visits to the gynecologist actually made me more curious. The gynecologist I visited never mentioned mine was a low-risk pregnancy openly. Instead she said I must walk everyday or 3 times a week and maintain a gradual increase of a Kg a month to 15 Kg max throughout my pregnancy. Until month 5, I wasn’t really sure if I was really pregnant. Come on, no bump, no sounds, no longing for mangoes. Well, now I realize that movies have been pathetically wrong when it comes to pregnancy stories. And.. Um. I believed them too much. Time for a reality check.

All I ever did was sleep or lie on the bed all day long and told myself I was enough tired already. Though pregnancy made me lazy than I already was, it also made me consistent when it came to my walking routine. I did yoga much regularly than I had before. It was mainly because it ached everywhere. Hip, hands, legs, you name it, I had pains everywhere. Lucky that I wasn’t restricted any food. I had more ice creams during my pregnancy than ever. Morning cravings and ice creams went hand in hand. Most mornings at 4 AM, I sat with a spoon to relish my chocolate delicacy. The husband became familiar with the unusual sounds at unusual times in our room. Though he woke up occasionally and asked if I was alright, to which I always answered, “I think so!”

Early morning hunger pangs!! #pregnancydiaries #pregnantlife #icecreamlove

A post shared by Jayanthy G (@jayanthygovindarajan) on Mar 2, 2017 at 4:25pm PST

Did I tell you I hated the waiting period in all my visits to the hospital? I was asked to visit once a month regularly until the 8th month. The one lucky thing was the hospital is just 2 streets away from my home . I preferred using OLA since the timings were late afternoons and loved walking back home. I never expected my husband or my mother-in-law to accompany me during these visits. Sitting there for a whole hour doing nothing is sometimes better for an already confused/emotional soul who is pregnant. They listened for a while and since my family was excited about my pregnancy more than me, each one of them accompanied me for a visit. My mother-in-law came once, my mother accompanied me once. The funniest visits were with the husband. I will share just one crazy conversations here.

Fifth Month Ultrasound: Okay, this will confirm what’s happening in my womb! *me thinks*

At the reception desk:

The Husband: So, you asked us about the appointment timings right?

Receptionist: Yes, Sir. You must wait for an hour Sir.

The Husband: If you cannot follow timings, why do you actually keep mentioning it? You must add a tagline like “You will be able to meet the doc, 1 or 2 hours after the appointment time”

Receptionist: Sir, what can we do Sir?

The Husband: Just stop asking us if we are here on our appointment time, and stop giving appointments during lunch time!

Receptionist: This doctor is available only during that time, Sir.

The Husband: Okay, we will go have lunch and come back.

Receptionist: Sir, you cannot go like this.

The Husband: Okay, tell me how can a pregnant woman be without eating her food on time?

Receptionist: Sir.. (She couldn’t help laughing)

She told us to please go and come back in exactly half an hour.

In the time given for lunch, We actually finished shopping our monthly groceries and also had lunch. While I was about to drop the plate in the sink, my phone rang. The husband smiled and asked me to tell them that he likes their Half an hour schedule very much! Okay, I just attended the call and told we are on the way. Since the clinic is just two streets away, we went there in a jiffy and met the doctor.
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This happened two more times at Seventh Semester scan and at 9th. Both the times, I sent him home and asked him to come only when the scan was almost over. Not that we didn’t like each other’s company, I preferred talking to other pregnant woman. However, he saw what was necessary and we were happy.

Did I mention before that when friends asked me do you spend half the time in the loo, I was like, not much. It was in the end of second and third trimester, I used the loo almost 4 times every night even though I drank less water or no water before I slept. I wondered why did I even come back to my room! I even tried spending some time in the living room before I went into my bedroom. It never worked. I went back to the loo only when I was about to fall asleep again. Yes, it was just like that. And people talking about getting enough sleep during pregnancy, that is just to encourage you to try and feel light. 

My regular checkups and walking was a regular routine by month 6. I don’t like dependency. I love to do my work all by myself. In fact, I didn’t feel I had to be dropped at the clinic for my monthly visits too. For the sake of couple visits, my husband and I visited in the last trimester together. I loved the idea of the husband being in the delivery room. So we both visited the doctor together in the last trimester.

The baby shower functions were fun. All I had to do was dress up and pose like a doll. I wasn’t looking great though, but felt excellent throughout pregnancy. The second trimester was all about a growing baby bump, excitement about baby kicks and talking with the baby. I loved dancing so much in this trimester. My 5 year old nephew and I danced all the time. That was enough encouragement for me to keep myself super-active

Summing it up!

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The final post in this series will be coming out soon! 😉

Read my Part 1 – Blame it on the Hormones to know how it all began.

In the world of eternal planning, some things happen unplanned. My pregnancy is one such. Well, it is true that plans fail, I can guarantee that protection also fails sometimes. My sweet little pie is now 10 month old. She is one of the precious gifts and I am glad about how my unplanned pregnancy is one of the best things to have happened and feels like the easiest period till date. I have been thinking to write this for quite a while and finally decided to type on whenever I can about my pregnancy journey and here it is!

The Only Perfect Thing!

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When I sit down and think how it all happened, I laugh at the only perfect thing in my life. Yes, it was my periods. The monthly cycle that follows the 28 day routine without any distraction. It comes and goes and there isn’t much to say about it. Guess what, it came perfectly on the day of my reception too. So when it didn’t turn up the next month, I was overly curious. We all know, Indian families! My mother-in-law was already over the moon and so were my parents. I wasn’t really sure because I just missed a period. I wasn’t even throwing up and longing for green mangoes as shown in every movie. Anyway, I was apprehensive about the whole thing. We really didn’t expect an early pregnancy and this wasn’t just early, but quick too.

Another fortnight went by and still no sign of my periods. I convinced myself that I must be pregnant. Trust me, I didn’t feel a thing except disappointment. The husband and I were like, “Oh my god! That was quick!” When we met our family doctor, she asked me to take a scan. We found from the results that I was 48 days pregnant. The husband and I laughed at each other, all for so much planning. I was asked to take Iron folic and was even told it was already late. I was also told that I must have started it once I was married. Okay, I was married for almost 2 months then, and looks like I was already pregnant for the most part of it. How do you think I would have even known and with all the planning I did? Lucky that I wasn’t advised to have started the course once my wedding date was finalized. Anyway, the never consistent me, for once started the course as advised and strictly followed a routine.

In the first trimester, I learned that pregnancy was a period of answering a lot of questions to which one really didn’t know answers. Everyone tried to understand my pregnancy when I was actually questioning myself how I became pregnant! It took me almost 6 months to shift from denial to acceptance. Feelings of uncertainty flooded my mind and I was engulfed in unknown fear. Now, I know it was the newness of pregnancy and the responsibility it would bring that made me wonder about it so much. The Husband was convinced quickly about my pregnancy, but I couldn’t. It slowly changed only when I felt my tiny bump.

Until 3 months, I was strictly advised not to climb stairs or sit cross-legged on the floor. Well, that was the only thing I did for the first 3 months. Climbing up and down everyday for almost 5 to 10 times was a common thing for me. At home, we usually sit down and have dinner. I made  it a point to have my breakfast, lunch and dinner that way. Most people don’t really find out they are pregnant until 3 months. So I never trusted these rules. I just believed in being active throughout. I even joked around saying I am now more interested in pregnancy stories rather than “You know How we fell in love” stories. Anyway, it’s a mood shift and the curiosity of how it all happens.

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By the beginning of month 3, the only thing I longed for was not being questioned about my feelings. I hardly knew why I was angry or sad or upset. Forget spending time to reason them out. When the husband questioned me about why I am like this or that, I asked him when is he leaving for a business visit! Okay, truly, the last thing I wanted was to be questioned. Though it was pure care, I couldn’t end up figuring out why I felt what I felt then. Lets simply call it pregnancy mood swings. Girls understand this easily you know, some guys don’t! And mine, was a baby at that then! Anyway, pregnancy was a good chance for him to understand that I can go from the “Yay-I-Love-You” to “I am going to kill you now” moment in a matter of seconds. When he went on a business visit for 2 weeks, I didn’t miss my husband and he realized it. We still joke about it. Those two weeks all I did was sleep, wake up, help a bit in cooking, if there were clothes to dry, I would do it, hardly eat, sleep again.

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Every bit of my first trimester gave me goosebumps. I googled every minor symptom and was worried at everything I read. The one sane advice would be not to google your pregnancy. Some friends were pregnant and all we ever did was chat about our feelings with each other and come to a conclusion that we are actually having a normal pregnancy. By the end of month 3, I was questioned with “how are you dealing with morning sickness” I was like what was that? Almost everyone asked me, “How many times did I throw up each day?” I actually didn’t. I was confused because I hardly felt like it even though I couldn’t bear certain smells. Groundnut oil was one that made me run away from the house. In turn, everything was cooked in ghee just for me *thankful*. Actually, ghee was a neutral thing for me. My big nose only attracted what I really didn’t like! I could smell gas leakage right away and if someone smoked on the road even a house away from mine, it bothered me. Oil and cigars generally bothered me, it bothered me so much more during pregnancy. Oh, and that complete dislike for rice, I hardly had rice. A small cup was too much. I lived on fruits, veggies, Non Vegetarian starters and ice creams. *Secret foods* Pani Puri, bhel puri, dahi papdi chaat and kheers!

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The one thing I had enough and don’t know when and how it happened was “Sleep”. I slept most mornings, afternoon naps were mandatory and I never missed night routines. I was lucky I had an understanding mother-in-law and my mom who let me be. I don’t usually sleep in the afternoon, but pregnancy made it a must for me. I hardly watch TV. So I turned to books. I have read books from morning to evening without moving an inch, but during pregnancy I slept by page 3(irrespective of the genre).  The only book I read was “What to Expect” and I made sure that I read only for the month that I was in. Didn’t I tell you I hardly got past 3 pages? A monthly read up was too much for me then. If I wasn’t sleeping or eating or overthinking, I actually dressed up and had baby showers. They are usually held at month 5, 7 and 9. It started from month 5 at mom’s. Month 7 at mother-in-law’s and month 9 combined. This month my bump was visible and I went from size S to M.
Since summer was due in a couple of months, I bought sizes M and L because I wasn’t sure how my tummy will grow. P.S: I didn’t dress up this well when I read the book though!

Pregnancy is generally a happy period minus the mood swings and advises and numerous questions. I traveled very less to my mother’s place during my entire pregnancy since my Gynecologist was just a street away from my mother-in-law’s place. Even then the days I visited my mom, I only lay on the bed from morning to evening drained of all energies. My lovely memory failed me many times. I forgot so many things. I even forgot my walking round counts. Okay, don’t laugh. I was easily confused and I called myself the muddle-head. Blame it on the hormones!

Didn’t I already tell you I write only when my little one sleeps? I bet you remember that! If not, make a note of it! She woke up and  would crawl her way to my laptop soon! Bye! C’ya in next part!