Hello Again!
It has been so long. It has really been a very long time since I wrote on this blog. Now, I’ve told to myself more than a million times How miserable can this get. Anyway finally decided to move this blog as well to a free Word press blog in the coming months. I’ve recently moved my other blog. This decision has lifted a big weight out of my head. It’s not that I wrote here in a long time anyway. It’s made me feel a lot less guilty about this whole space.
I realized it is not going to be easy to find that extra time to sit down and write. I am exhausted by the end of the day. It’s never easy to find that space to sit down and write. I have taken the time to understand myself. Even as I’d love to spend the time to sit down and write, I am not doing that. I remembered the time I used to tune into the blog as a place to sit down and reflect my thoughts.
I cannot be the do-it-all mum or the beating myself hard mum. I’ve had enough of the pain of pricking myself with the pin. As a person with multiple interests, one thing I do every day now is, Breathe Out a lot and see if I can make time for anything that is not work, home or family or phone related stuff. What do I do for myself? Absolutely nothing to be honest.
Writing has always been my kind of theraphy. Time and again, it has been a place where I’ve just poured out. Be it a journal, a piece of paper or on a phone. Penning my thoughts has always given me good sleep. On sleepless nights, writing, scribbling has helped me get back to bed and have a good sleep. I am trying to remember the time where I would sit down, write with absolutely no distraction. When I started this blog in college, this was my cocoon. Not a brilliant writer, but liked to write.
It was freeing, hence I named the blog the same way. It’s me thinking out loud in this blog. I did not have the slightest worry of who read it, what they will think about my thoughts. I just wrote as a open space for my feelings. And lots of random thoughts poured. When I tried to segregate them into more meaningful posts, it started making little sense. As I tried to mould myself into something else following trends, I lost the interest to write.
Now, I just want it to flow again. I am sitting and typing this at my work desk at home, channelling out the loud TV noise in the next room. Right behind on the couch, as my daughter is telling an endless story, just nodding my head listening with the third ear and pouring these words down. Heavy eyelids, writing after 9pm, neck in sheer pain after staring at the laptop beyond work hours, I can’t believe I am writing again.
Breathing again now, it’s going to be a good night’s sleep today! I want to break my own self-talk of not doing enough of self-care. This is one of my key self-care routines. This blog has not just helped me put my thoughts together. It has helped me in many ways beyond explanation.
Thanks my dear blog for always being there for me. It’s going to be a fresh start 🙂
