The Value of Pain

Pain is different for everyone. When I explain to someone that I am facing an issue with something, I have heard a few people point out saying that isn’t an issue at all. Pain isn’t always caused by the same reasons for everyone. It is different for each and every person. If I haven’t felt pain that another person felt due to a particular experience, it doesn’t mean it is irrelevant. 

Similarly, everyone’s pain has its own value. It brings a change whether we appreciate it or not. For some it makes them brave, to a few others it makes them get in touch with their vulnerability again and to some others it just lets them open up and stay that way. In some way or the other, it lets us see ourselves a little better than what we know us. If we don’t understand someone’s pain, it is better to stay silent than sabotage them for feeling that way. After all, it is pain that breaks us and makes us whole again. 

Pain need not necessarily be physical. It could be a word that hurts, an action that makes someone feel miserable or ignoring someone completely you’ve been close with all along. Everyone has their own reasons. Pain felt leads to an understanding that never existed before. That particular understanding will help us know ourselves better and in the process we also learn about others. People who understand us in our most needed times are to be treasured. Generally those kind of people are hardly one or two and most unexpected ones. That’s one reason to appreciate pain.

Last week, I experienced a terrible leg pain. I felt numb throughout. I felt that I might not be able to get up the whole day. I felt I needed rest, the kind of rest that deserves the “Do Not Disturb” tag hanging in front of my door. With an active 16 month old, it is evident that I am getting almost no rest during the day. Though I am glad I am on my toes, I must agree that I need twice the time to rest my nerves and very sincerely my legs.  I haven’t found the time until I decided to take the 5 day break from Social Media and everything else. Since I am managing the house for the past month with the husband on travel, things have taken a hectic pace and my health and mind is miserable than ever. I also realized that work doesn’t bother me much as I thought it would, it was definitely only people. I was surprised to find cooking very interesting than ever. Maybe it is one of the best ways to relax my nerves. Though I just did simple recipes, I thoroughly enjoyed what I made and when people ate it, it felt even more amazing. I loved it when Ilakkiya almost cleaned her plate by herself. Apart from cooking daily meals, I also had spent a genuine time reading and writing my journal.

I don’t share my feelings with everyone, I choose people and only share with people I consider close to my heart. This month started with me opening up about issues I have been avoiding for long and couldn’t build up the courage to face it. Just to calm my nerves and find the courage to handle them, I opened up to a few of them. I am glad I have listening ears who have taken time out of their busy schedules to hear me out. Until then, I really felt like I let the dementors suck all the happiness out of me and I walked lifeless. It was when I shared and let those tears run down my cheeks again that I felt alive again.

As much as there is someone who is encouraging me to look up and smile at the sunshine, I must agree that I have been able to do the same to a few others too. That’s the best part, right? It’s a lovely kindness chain  that we pass on. We get help from someone, we offer help to someone else. I mean life is all about that. If you can help someone get better, do it. Everyone needs help in some way or the other. Someone needs to be listened, whereas some others need to let go and be happy.

The let go part is the most difficult though. Personally, I feel it is a choice to be made by the person. If the person chooses to hold on to troubles and trouble everybody else, we are all going down the pit together. Gradually, when people understand that it is cracking them up, they would just move out and find their own peace. So, at any age, it is the courage that is needed to act on our weaknesses. There is no better factor than age to make a choice to become a better person.

I was in a vicious cycle before. I was immensely affected by small talks and forgot how to live life as I want to. The whole of last week, I was in a bad state. I was depressed and also sick which made everything worse. I was glad to share my thoughts with a family member and I feel so much better now. I am not at all ashamed of crying. Tears are the first exit for anyone in pain. They drench us in a coolness that nothing else can. It melts our hearts and prepares us to face life as it is with no sugarcoating whatsoever. I am thankful for being able to feel light again. I am grateful for being able to take that break from social media and avoided sharing too much negativity on it. I am blessed to have few souls who really care for me and helped me go to the healing stage and let go of the hurting stage (stages inspires by Rupi Kaur).

I am learning that the value of pain is not in causing the same to others, but to heal ourselves and be liberal in taking the time for the process to happen. It is okay to feel weird about everything. It is okay to be the black sheep in the white herd. It is okay to be different. It is okay to spend time for ourselves through all this. It is okay to sit down and cry when everything is messy. It is okay if your schedule flips out through this. It is for the better and we   look at our schedules as a blessing after that. So, the value of pain is how you treat yourself when you go through it. Treat yourself right. It helps heal better!