Pain demands to be felt

Sometimes when life runs smooth, I have learned to thank God for that moment, for that day. Things can become different just the next day, so I am trying my best to take one day at a time. Right now, just writing this down to ease me from the pressure in my mind.

This happened just yesterday, still sharing it will make me feel better, because I want to move away from it. I write so I can listen to my thoughts, so I can feel better and align myself to think better. Since I am learning to let go of so many things, it frees up a bit of my mind which I am wishing to put to better use.

black gorilla beside wood
Image Courtesy: Unsplash

Yes, that’s me, deep in thought! About what, God only knows!

Well, here’s the thing. All was going well yesterday evening when I finally sat down with my laptop to finish a couple of drafts that I was working on. While behind the screen I was also thinking about the gift that I could surprise my husband with for this year’s Valentine’s day. We are not the kind who surprise each other with gifts. We always discuss and buy.

This year is one where he surprised me with a gift, but I was still thinking about his. It’s easy to surprise me, as I never expect much, but heartily thank the gift that comes my way. What’s more special to me is that the time taken by the person to think of me and buy me something. That thought itself makes me happy.

Though my husband loves surprises, he is a bit hard to impress. He appreciates the effort, but he buys what he needs so he is one who does not expect gifts. So, that is one reason why I think more before buying something for him.

That’s when this happened. I understood that Pain demands to be felt. It is good.

On Valentine's eve
As I scratch my head thinking what I can gift you
You walked out smirking at me
To spend your chunk of time in the living room.

Hardly a minute went by
When this thunderous sound burst into the room.
Something heavy crushed the floor
It sent a shrill down my spine.

I rush out praying you're alright
Only to see your toe finger
Covered in blood
The nail peeling out oozing more blood.

I cannot cry
My mind is taking in while sending a quick prayer
Shivering and wondering if you're alright
Seeing the toe finger crushed under the weight of the fallen object.

You and I shiver,
A broken bone or a broken finger
Are you able to get up and walk
Will you be able to cope for some more time.

It has happened
We cannot change
As blood is rushing more and more
Pain is starting to show.

As friends help to rush you to hospital
We all hope things get better soon
I pray and thank God for friends near
Helping us at this time of need.

The cruising pain
Will take time to heal
But love, care and prayer is my only gift
That I can give you in this most needed time.

Some people find it difficult to sit in one place. That’s what worries me with someone like him. Right now, he is learning to sit down and do nothing, but it might take him sometime. Still, I could only thank god for my daughter being so understanding and helpful during this time.

There’s not many people who take time to understand what we want to say. So I don’t share much nowadays. I am tired from what people say and think. All I need is to express myself and let it be. I am thankful for this space where I can share my thoughts.

About Jayanthy Govindarajan

I share the reflections of my mind here as a mommy blogger. I share my parenting experiences and life experiences with gratitude.

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