Recent incidents helped me reflect a lot about myself and my life in general. Life has a way of bringing excitements and adventures followed by disappointments and regrets. Some adventures make us restless whereas some disappointments show us an open door. At times, I don’t know which is a blessing – an adventure or a disappointment. I am still not the matured one to see the light at the end of the tunnel in everything that happens. Though I believe that everything happens for a reason, sometimes I need to sit down and reflect to find the reason.
Reflections happen everywhere. Not just when I sit still and meditate, though I do it very less. Not even the times when I sit down and decide to do nothing. It mostly happens when I sit to take a breath, but someone needs my help right away that moment. It is mostly when I call it a day, but someone calls me just to see if I slept so that they could have a “short” conversation. These are the times I wonder if I have a boundary set or am I standing in an unfenced area. My writing is the best time I take to reflect on my thoughts, my mind, my self, on the day’s happenings, or even about some incident that happened some time, some day. I would love to sit down and reflect more to understand myself and many of my actions or probably, inactions.
I even wonder if people can misuse a kind person. I realized it is very well possible. It is something that happens every now and then. If my kindness to you is a fault, then there is something wrong with your thinking. It has taken me years to understand this. I have built walls and so many defense mechanisms to shield myself from being hurt, but it hasn’t helped. It has made me rude and sarcastic, it hasn’t helped me become kinder in any way. When people blindly ask me to help them with something or if I see someone need it at that moment, I oblige. That is who I am. I don’t see if I like them or not, not at that instance, of course. I just do it. If you forget me after your help, I am not at fault, neither is my behavior. You are you and I am me! We are different and I would like to accept it as it is.
Lately, many things have angered me. I have some people who hate to see me do my work. And some more who want me to do everything they say without complaining or questioning them. And, a few more would be glad if I left my book down just to speak a useless, anger-triggering conversation with them. I realized people would always have a say in everything we do. Learning to ignore is an art that I must master and above all responding in an even tone is a skill, I must acquire.
Today was one such day where I spent half my day in silence on the outside. I just took a break. If you know me, you will know that I don’t consider shopping as a break, neither do I shop till I drop, (though occasionally I drop things). I had things to buy, but never made the time to visit. I really needed some air and I wanted some cheerful colors to calm my mind. One thing I am fond of shopping is stationery. I am not tired of purchasing them. Also, I bought beautiful skirts for Ilakkiya. I will update the photo in Insta soon. Otherwise, home stuff. Those two hours weren’t actually therapeutic, but it helped me focus on better things.
I also booked tickets for the 4 of us to Kolamaavu Kokila. If you are a fan of Nayantara or Yogi Babu,(thamizh movies like this encourage me to visit theatres) you will know I am going to spend 2 hours laughing tomorrow. That is therapeutic! Well, this will also be Ilakkiya’s first movie at the theatres. So, I am keeping my fingers crossed! Also, I figured I am the only one who must do my work irrespective of any delays! No one else will or can.
I am excited to participate in MyFriendAlexa Campaign by Blogchatter. This is my first season with them, I am excited and nervous about the journey this September with the entire team. I had a few questions, but the video answered them for me. Thanks for that Team Blogchatter.