JAYANTHY'S FREE SPACE

I read. I admire. I love. I write. I laugh. I live! I love to think loud and the reflections of my mind are in my blog!

Gratitude for June and July #GratitudeCircle

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June was a remarkable month to say the least. I learnt, unlearnt and relearned so much. Thanks to my birthday month. It was calm and I spent my birthday with just 3 people. My parents went on a 10 day trip to Kasi. I stayed at my Parents’ since it would be difficult for my grandmother to manage two dogs. My sister and I spent some good time during this stay. As much as I enjoyed the company of my two sweethearts (my grandma and sister), we also fought like never before. It was such a surprise when we could directly see the differences we had. It was like staying in a girl’s hostel. My daughter is in our league now. That made it 4 of us and two dogs. Though this looks like Famous Five team, truly we were the Stunning Six who enjoyed the week just like a child would. With Ilakkiya being the only common element of fun, we forgot our fights the next moment after it and laughed at ourselves and our own stupid moments without judging our actions. Also as much as we enjoyed with our pets, we regretted waking up every day at 5 just for his walk. My dad wakes at 5 every morning and takes the dogs out for a walk. I did that once upon a time, though I used to take them out at 7, but now it feels like I did it years before. I will only do this again when Ilakkiya starts to walk. It would be so much fun then.
I loved spending some lone time on my birthday this year. I loved all the warm wishes sent from all over the globe from my loved ones. I felt very good and that was such a great start. I spent a calm birthday this year. I really didn’t want to cut a cake or buy anything. All I wanted to do was read the whole day. I spent time with my grandmother, sister and Ilakkiya. This is my second birthday as a mother and I am still surprised about being a mother. This year, I was glad to get my first wish from my husband. I love his habit of wishing me throughout the day whenever he finds the chance. This year, it was different. He made an effort to wish in advance and also first on the day. Not that I keep count, but it is really special since I least expected it. 
July was a month where I pondered a lot and also found root causes to many of my everyday mistakes. Many small things bothered me a lot throughout June and July. I was frustrated about many things. I saw a movie before a couple of days and that helped me see me in that. Have you watched Kali (Malayalam movie)? That brought out a varied set of emotions that let me free. I have anger management issues. I am much better now though. However, the last two months kept me in complete rage over many small issues. I usually shout and walk out when I am angry. At other times, I am in complete silence not knowing how to react and just become dull. I don’t utter even a word to any person or in some cases, that particular person. I talk to others normally. One such incident happened and I am getting over the rage slowly. I am learning to identify what caused it and why. I think I will find out my solution in August since I broke the wall I built around me just yesterday.  
Ilakkiya:
She started to take steps in June. I was beyond excited and couldn’t bear it every time she fell. Anyway, as a mother I mustered up my courage and let her be. I never ran behind her every time she fell, neither did I pick her up when she looked at me. It requires too much courage to be a mother. I picked her up only on occasions where she cried or hurt herself. She is able to reach the shelves now and she is giving us a run. She loves to follow everything we do. Right from Pooja time to picking the pudina leaves, she just imitates us. She loved her time with the pets at home. She was busy pulling their tails, I am glad Joy did not react, instead he shifted rooms. 
In July, she is walking and even trying to run around. After all those cute tiny shoes, we picked her first pair of sandals. The first day she walked in it like it was the heaviest thing on her legs. We couldn’t stop laughing at her. It took her a week to walk normally in it. However, every time she wears it, she takes her first few steps like she is on the Moon and then comes back to earth. She has started to climb the stairs. She is super-careful, but I am sweating it out. Anyway, I just walk with her when she climbs and when she couldn’t manage she turns to me and holds me. I love those moments. She loved her Bangalore trip. She loved being with many kids. She literally joined them and played with them. I just sat back and watched her have a nice time with them.

Writing: 

June was drafting month. I wrote on most days, but never published anything. I hardly found time to edit, so I let everything be. Though I felt I might regret this, I am actually glad I found the time to write even though I did not post them. This counts for me. I hardly found time to open the laptop this month. Thanks to the phone, I wrote on the go and that helped.

I loved writing in July. I posted some of the drafts and I am happy about it. Thanks to all the time spent in June. I loved the parenting article I wrote this month. It changed my usual cribbing about parenting and made me feel better and light. My husband always understood those principles and followed those, it was just me, I wasn’t able to see them clearly. I wasn’t able to see it until I wrote that post. I am glad I did it.

On Occasions and Flying Visits: 

June was one of the busiest wedding month. We were blocked on most weekends. We had a good share of events on both sides. Since the traffic peaks in the evening on Muhurtham days, we went by cabs to most events. So, we were able to spend time with Ilakkiya who otherwise doesn’t enjoy cab journeys. She loves to sit in the driver seat and play with the gear.
One of my most awaited visit came in July. I doubted if I could make it, but we decided about the travel just before 4 days of the actual journey. It was our visit to Bangalore. We were at Palace Grounds for my little brother’s(best friend’s brother) wedding. I love the connection our family has with each other. I am glad I was able to visit with my dad and husband. Ilakkiya enjoyed her first train journey. She enjoyed a few outside treats too. I am glad she is now able to eat everything, especially Biriyani. She loves Biriyani. 
On Health:

This is one of the main reasons why I didn’t write the Gratitude post in June. My right knee was swollen. I was completely upset about it. When I was home, I asked my sister to heal my knee. She saw it and said that something was wrong and I better visit the doctor at the earliest. Until then, I really thought it was the usual gastric trouble that cause swollen knee. The moment she asked me what happened to my knee, I told her I really don’t know. I visited an Ortho the next week. He asked me so many questions that I remembered how I got a swollen knee. I slipped in the bathroom before 3 months. I fell so hard that I slid towards the Washing Machine at the end of the bathroom. Yes, that’s how I hurt my leg. Actually, the Washing Machine stopped me from skidding further, but I didn’t know it was so forceful. I got up immediately and felt happy that no elder fell down. Nothing really happened that month. It was during two trips that I felt a poking pain in my right knee. I really thought it was due to travel. I travelled to Kumbakonam and Munnar in Car. Considering the hours I sat in the car, I was naïve enough to think that way. I am glad I visited the doctor at least then. I was in medication for 3 weeks and was strictly advised not to walk or climb or even sit down. I was asked to walk only with bandage on my knee so that it restricts me from walking fast. Clearly something part of my everyday routine. That brought me so much frustration. 
However, July made it all better. After 3 weeks of medication, I really felt better, but not convinced that everything was okay. Well, how can I expect everything to be okay in just a month’s time? Well, I was really scared about knee pains and understood how difficult it would be to be like this forever. That was enough to make me do the knee strengthening exercises. I did it every single day and every time I thought about my leg. I realized how much I took my body for granted. It has not healed completely, but it is better. In the follow-up visit the doctor informed me that I was healing better, but nothing for two more months. This time, I obliged. Sometimes, Rest is the best medicine there is. I am thankful that I am getting better. 
Work:

Surprised to see this in my blog, right? Even I am. I had planned to start working after Ilakkiya turned 1, but the best thing for me to do right now is Work From Home. I hardly get two hours a day for myself and I really want to keep myself productive. And for me, I realized Working will be the only option that will create and keep my routine going. My search started in July after I did a couple of sponsored posts. I am working on my options. I failed in one and thought that would be the end of my search. To my surprise, I was encouraged by 2 of my friends who were part of my work. I felt really good to continue my search and I am learning what it is like to work from home. 
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Friends and Family:
These people make my life better. Dad’s second birthday as a Grandfather. I love the bond Ilakkiya and he shares. I just admire the time they spend with each other. Similarly, the bond she shares with my sister is brilliant. The moment they see each other, I get a feeling they are up to something. I loved the time I spent with family both months.
I loved meeting friends both months. I enjoyed meeting them and spending time with them. However, I missed meeting my Bangalore friends. I really got an update that the weather was crazy in Bangalore before I started from here. I didn’t want Ilakkiya to catch a cold there. So I planned a very short visit. However, the weather was really pleasant for all the 3 of them. Only I felt the chillness factor to be high. The 3 of them enjoyed like they belonged there. However, my next visit to Bangalore will be just to meet friends! 🙂 I am hoping it happens this year. I loved talking with some good friends and I am glad I did it. 
Thank you June and July! You have made me a little thoughtful. I also learnt that being grateful brings peace.
Hello August! 
How did your July go? I would love to know!
Linking with Vidya’s GratitudeCircleBlogHop.

Priya

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Unknown
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Its such a serene piece…makes me want to take a break and do some introspection of my own. We all need to step away from our hustle bustle and look at our lives. Good to know you got a chance to do that!

G Angela David
Guest

So much of happenings in the last two months, nice to read your post and glad that you are in process of recovering and getting better. Loved reading about your child and the attempts she's making to walk – its a lovely experience to watch baby's crossing milestones:) your experience with your grand mother and sister made me smile, all the very best that you find work you are exploring!

Kalpana Manivannan
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Lovely to read your experiences and introspection.

Natasha
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Wow that is one packed month with lots of wonderful blessings your way. You really made the best of what life had to offer.
Have a even more fabulous August! All the best🌻

http://natashamusing.com

Aditi
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I am glad you got the needed rest and your knee is better now!

What lovely two months you've had. You've packed in a lot. Will check out your parenting post! 🙂

Parul
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Feels like you had a productive and content July, Jayanthi. I am happy for you. here's wishing you all the good things in August. Hugs!

Jayanthy
Guest

Thanks a lot. It is true and I have just started working on it. I hope you take the time to introspect since it helps live our life better.