I messed up!

A dog standing up a window with mess up. The pawprints from the mud are everywhere on the window.
Image Courtesy: Unsplash

These 3 words
Make sense now.
I choose to surrender
After the big mess up.

I passed on my distress
Without realizing the stress
I was throwing at someone,
Who chose to listen.

I peered into someone’s life
Worst than an intruder,
Without even realizing,
I am not needed there.

I have yelled, been rude,
Crossed my borders,
Shared an unwanted opinion,
An unwanted line.

“Be sympathetic, be kind”
I really thought I was
Until I shared a few words,
With less understanding of someone’s choice.

A lot of my wounds
Make no sense to me now
I’d know if I observe myself,
That I triggered them on my own.

The many baggage I held so long
Need to be buried deep down
It brings nothing, but more hatred
And breaks me down.

I stand up and apologize,
To those who faced the wrath
Of my constant complaints,
As I realize I messed up.

I was trying hard to make a mark,
But all hell broke loose,
I have lost it all,
In the process of proving I’m true.

I don’t know right from wrong now,
Oh, my best opinion is NO opinion now,
I might choose that corner,
To mind my own business.

After too much of talking,
Here comes the silence,
That could teach me,
To smile and to be kind.

Now that I clearly know,
I messed up,
I choose to stay silent,
To make my words count.



*NOTE:*
I am just thinking loud on my blog. I am in good mental health, I just woke up to bearing the weight of being told that I mess up all the time.

Looks like, I have consciously started to mess up things now. I had not set boundaries on my private space or personal life. It has just been up there for view, which has led me to unconsciously graze on others private space. I am a strong advocate of SPEAK OUT LOUD, but I realised I have forgotten the space where SILENCE is needed.

Out of concern, I have constantly asked people to share their thoughts thinking there might be a problem. However, the real problem had existed in me, since I used to bottle up my emotions earlier. Now I learned to share better, but I guess that fear in me that someone might need help in sharing their thoughts hasn’t left. Hence, this post is a reminder for me to NOT to push others boundaries unnecessarily.

This is my reminder to consciously stay awake and learn to be empathetic to myself and others. To accept privacy in my life and respect it in others life.

About Jayanthy Govindarajan

I share the reflections of my mind here as a mommy blogger. I share my parenting experiences and life experiences with gratitude.

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4 Comments on “I messed up!”

  1. It happens with all of us. Saying things and then thinking what did I do. It’s good that you are choosing the space of silence to reset. I loved your poetic expression, Jayanthy!

  2. what a beautiful way to introspect – I enjoyed reading every line of your poem jayanthy, and what a creative way of expressing, thanks for sharing your thoughts… we all learn after a lot of experiences to value silence, so you are not alone:)

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