Did you read my post on Scared Dreams? That was pain in a few words. However, just like pain, there is a need to place a strong foot on hope too. This post is about dreaming a life of togetherness and finally making it.
It is 8 weeks since I came to London. It is definitely a memorable one. The three of us are cherishing this time as our precious moments together. We have never had our share of time since our wedding. Since my pregnancy, my husband is on frequent travel. That was okay for me as I needed some break due to pregnancy mood swings. My pregnancy was easy because of the undue support and effort my husband had provided me. He listened to all cues, right from my need of frequent massages till my pregnancy cravings, he spent his time with me without hesitation.
Even in the delivery room, he held my hand and joked about why I should try a bit more to push the baby. Okay, the joke is, I told it’s okay for the baby to stay inside and come when she pleases. He looked at me and I knew what he was thinking, “hey no OB(daydreaming and let things be) in this, Push the baby out.”
Once his on-site was confirmed my life flipped big time. Ilakkiya was 15 months old when his long term travel was confirmed. We never expected our little one would miss her father so much. As adults, we missed each other so much, why did we think a child wouldn’t know is beyond my understanding. When people tell old stories of how they lived, I must just listen not take it personally and overdo it. A lesson I learnt that year.
Personally, it wasn’t an easy journey for me. The emotional and mental pressure I had in the last 8 months will take a long time to heal. Finally London happened after too much trouble. We’ve never spent so much time together since our wedding. Neither did baby girl spend enough time with her father the whole of last year. All the three of us had rough patches that we are healing together by spending our time together now.
One of the most difficult thing is staying away from your partner when all you want is just to stay together. When it finally happens, I cannot really say how blessed we feel for this opportunity. Though it’s our basic right to stay together, at times situations never let us be. It’s a pain of its own. I’ve seen my aunts and uncles stay away from each other for long due to work way back in the early 80s and 90s. Those were the times of trunk calls and letters. Though our situation is far better today for which I am definitely thankful. Even though times have changed there are still major moments where we could only wish we could stay together.
I don’t know if I want to call life as unfair, because even through all the troubles, it gives me these small moments to hold on to and live them like there is no tomorrow. When people ask me if I’ve visited half of London already, I could only smile. At times, we feel just staying together and spending our time talking with each other counts more to us than roaming every street in this place. Sure, we want to roam every nook and corner of London, but mostly I just want to sit by his side and sip a cup of coffee (black, that’s our favorite now and talk all about it) or eat our favourite food or simply watch a movie together. There was never the good old time in our lives, we are just creating it so we could call it that in our future.
Ilakkiya is having a ball with her dad and I am just happy to see them bonding so well. The three of us finally together, blurring rest of the world. I’m not sure if I’m going to be tired of this soon(which I know I won’t), but I’m surely going to have fun with this as long as I can. Moments like these will never come back. I want this to be deeply etched in my veins. We are lucky to taste the summer in London now and drench ourselves in the cool air and longer days.
Though Ilakkiya had a high temperature one week and I had my conjunctivitis on the other, we could do good because we don’t know what it is like to spend time together without any interference. We love this time together so dearly because we always knew we would enjoy it.
We know we can’t go on like this for a long time, so until October, we’ll dwell on this dream life which has come true and cherish on it for the next few months. God bless.
To all those staying away from their partner, may you meet them soon and cherish your time together. ❤️
As we celebrate our 3rd Anniversary together, I thought it would be a way to thank my husband for constantly being my pillar of support and pushing me to break my own barriers and face the world in a stronger way.
P.S: He started 2 days after our 2nd anniversary last year. In tears last year and in joy this year. Life is certainly Beautiful.